


You Can't Tame Stars

by Aiobhlin



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Adultery, Angst, F/M, Marriage, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-21 02:39:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2451662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aiobhlin/pseuds/Aiobhlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam explains Kara’s sexuality to Lee, and Lee has to figure out what to do about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers to S3E12 “Rapture” though I didn’t rewatch the episodes to make sure I referenced canon correctly. If you care, leave a comment and I can fix it. AU where Lee and Dualla never dated or married because that relationship had zero chemistry and I hated it. 
> 
> I finally added the smut, so the rating is now changed to E. Also, I should mention that the whole "Kara as the harbinger of death" storyline does not exist in my head, because BORING.

"Lee," said Sam, as he walked into the rec room and shut the hatch, "we need to talk. About Kara."

"There's nothing to talk about, Sam. You married her,” Lee said almost through his teeth. He would rather talk about anything else with anyone else. It had been almost a week since the algae planet, where he had almost lost her twice.

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "She asked me to marry her, and I said yes, and it’s been a year and a half, and now suddenly the two of you barely speak to each other and she's upset all the time and everyone is constantly walking on eggshells whenever you are in the same room. So I'd say we have something to talk about, yeah."

"What do you want me to say, Sam? I'm not in control of your wife." Lee watched the alcohol swirling in the bottom of his glass to avoid meeting Sam’s eyes.

"Nobody is, Lee, that's what you don't get. Kara is a force of nature. She's like a star. You can't tame her." Sam was pacing.

"Do you have a point, Anders? Because I still fail to see what this has to do with me." Lee finished his drink and stood up to leave. Sam side-stepped to get in his way.

"She told me about the night before our wedding."

Lee stared at him, and after a while, he sat down. All the feelings he had been trying to ignore since that moment on New Caprica came back to him in a rush, and he started to feel a little nauseated. He looked up at Sam, expecting to see anger or jealousy, but instead Sam’s face looked...annoyed? He wasn’t sure.

“When did she tell you this?”

“When we got back.” Sam’s face was matter-of-fact.

“Well,” Lee said, shaking the thoughts away. He’d get drunk later. “That night obviously didn’t mean that much to her.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Lee,” Sam said. He pulled up a chair in front of Lee, turning it around and sitting on it backwards. “It meant a lot to her, and it scared the shit out of her, which is why she ran to me.”

“Scared her? Nothing frakking scares that woman! Not even death!” Lee ran a hand through his hair.

“Lee, she’s scared of you, of how much she loves you. She knows you want something permanent, though, and she doesn’t want to be tied down.”

“Oh, and being married to you instead of me is so different?” Lee spit the words out, glaring at Sam, looking him right in the eyes.

“Yeah, actually, it is!” Sam said. “I’m not trying to change her.”

“What?!” Lee was angry, and confused. “Who said I wanted to change her?”

“You did,” Sam said quietly. “You told her to leave me, and you’d leave that civilian woman you’d been seeing, and you’d leave them and be together. Then, not a week ago, you asked her to get a divorce.”

“What, you know about that, too?!” Lee spluttered. He looked away, and ran his hand through his hair again. He was trying not to pull it out, and barely succeeding.

“Yeah, I know about that too. Frak, everyone in the fleet knows that you’ve been frakking, it’s not like it’s a secret.”

“What, and you want revenge now? Is that it?” Lee yelled. He stood up and started pacing. “Maybe if you were a better husband, she wouldn’t come to me!” He stood in front of Sam, who was still sitting, waving his hand toward him to punctuate his words.

“Oh my gods, Major, when you miss a point you miss it by a mile.” He rolled his eyes. “No, I don’t want _revenge._ Frak! Haven’t you noticed how unhappy she is right now? She’s stressed out, she’s taking risks in and out of the cockpit, and it’s been worse since we got back from that frakking planet. You have got to get your shit together with her. It’s killing her.”

“What do you want me to do, Sam? She made her choice, I can’t help with that.” Lee sat down again. He was so confused, and angry, and hurt. “When Kara told me she didn’t want a divorce, that was it. I respect you. I want to be able to look you in the face.” He did, at that moment, as if to prove his point.

“Lee, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. It doesn’t have to be a choice.” Sam had stayed calm through Lee’s outburst, and his eyes were honest. They just stared at each other for a few moments.

“What, so you don’t care that I frakked your wife?” he asked, incredulously.

“Of course I care! I don’t like the idea of sharing her,” Sam said, less calmly. He took a breath. “But I can’t control her. Not even the Sun God can tame a star.”

“Wha…what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that Kara was never meant to be with just one person. She has too much love, too much energy. Maybe if her childhood hadn’t been so frakked up…” he trailed off. “Her mother broke her into pieces. She was starting to get better, on New Caprica, but then that skin job…” he took a shaky breath. “Now I doubt there’s a person in the universe that can put her back together.” He looked at Lee, and continued when it was clear that he would need more of an explanation. “I love Kara for who she is, and all I want is for her to be happy. If she needs to frak half the fleet, well then, she needs to frak half the fleet. But I’d rather love her and share her than never get to be with her at all. It’s risky flying too near to a star, but it’s worth it if you can pull it off.”

Lee slumped back in his chair, thoroughly confused. He hadn’t known that about Kara’s mother, or what happened on New Caprica. Kara had refused to talk about it. _What else hasn’t she told me?_ He was dumbfounded that Sam was just okay with his wife committing adultery. If he’d been married to Kara…hell, he was jealous that she was married to Sam as it was. When she’d refused to get a divorce, he figured she loved Sam—or the Gods—more than she loved him. But from what Sam was saying…

“What do you want me to do, Sam? I love Kara,” he couldn’t believe he was confessing to loving another man’s wife, “but I can’t keep on like we’ve been doing. I told her something needed to change, and she said no, and…”

“Look,” Sam interrupted. “Just go talk to her, and listen to what she says. Really listen. I want my wife to be happy, and she isn’t, and I know it has something to do with you and her and whatever you have between you, so you need to work it out.” He stood up. “I’m going back to _Endiku_ for two weeks. Hopefully that will give you two enough time to get your shit straightened out.” He walked to the hatch and opened it.

“Sam,” Lee called out. He was still shell-shocked by the entire conversation. “Why don’t you stay on _Galactica_ with her? Why are you always coming and going?”

“I told you, Apollo,” Sam looked as if he was explaining that the sky was blue. “If you fly too close to a star, you get burned.” And with that he turned and walked out.

Lee stared after him for a long time.


	2. Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee confronts Kara about his conversation with Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still rated T for Teen. Don't worry, there will be smut, there's just a lot of story to get through first.
> 
> I'm not sure I captured the voices the right way. I'd work on it a bit more, but I really want to get to the sex.

It had only been two days since Sam had left and Kara was practically climbing the walls. _What the frak? You’re Starbuck, not a frakking rabbit!_ She never really wanted Sam to stay, it felt too domestic. Besides, the last time they had lived as man and wife on a regular basis, the Cylons had come, and Leoben had reminded her that she didn’t deserve to live a normal, civilian life. She never should have forgotten. Despite that, however, she missed him when he wasn't there. _I wonder if there's a way I can get him to come more often? Once every two weeks is NOT cutting it._

She stalked toward the gym, determined to lift out her aggression. Some nugget saluted her on her way, ( _what a frakking loser)_ and she ignored him, bumping into his shoulder as she refused to change her course. _Shouldn’t have been in the way._

She got into the gym and dropped her bag, looking around for a free machine. There was only one other person in the gym, which she was grateful for, because she really, really didn’t want to be around people right now. Then the recognition set in, before she even saw his face. _Frak. Lee._ She knew it was him from the way she felt…different…when she walked in. Lee always made her feel that way ( _like home_ ) that she didn’t want to identify. She picked up her bag and turned to walk out. _The last thing I need right now is more of Lee’s sanctimonious bullshit._

“Kara.”

_Frak._ She stopped walking, but she didn’t turn around. “Sorry, I was just looking for an empty gym. I’ll leave you alone.” She heard him walking up behind her, and her whole body tensed. _I should leave. I should start walking right now and go, because he’s going to touch me and then I don’t know what will happen. Oh, Lee._ He came up next to her but didn’t touch her. She let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding and forced herself to breathe normally.

“Kara, I want to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to talk, Apollo, I just want to work out.” She still couldn’t make herself take a step.

“Kara, we can’t keep doing this!” There was a sound in his voice, an emotion she couldn’t…or didn’t want to…put her finger on.

“Doing what, Apollo?” She deliberately used his callsign instead of his name. “I just want a workout, you’re in the gym, I’ll go find somewhere else.” She forced herself to look at him, and was proud when she kept her face steady in an expression that she hoped was impassive. _The last thing I need is Lee frakking Adama trying to talk to me about our_ relationship _or our_ feelings. She finally was able to take a step.

“Kara,” he said, and he finally grabbed her elbow. She jerked her arm to try to get away, but he didn’t release her. _I love it when he shows me how strong he is._ She shook her head to dispel the thought, and then all her thoughts left her when he said, “Sam came to see me before he left for _Endiku_. He said you and I should talk. So I want to talk.”

Her eyes snapped to his and she froze. _Sam, what the frak are you doing?_ Gods, Lee’s eyes were something else. Every time she looked at him it was like the first time, when she saw him and felt that familiarity that doomed her relationship to Zak. She had no idea how long they stared at each other like that. _I’ve got to get out of this._ “What the frak would Sam tell you we should talk about? Because he certainly didn’t tell me to talk to you.” The lie burned her lips only a little. Sam had been trying to get her to talk to Lee for weeks, since they left that planet.

“About this,” Lee said, and he pulled on her elbow until she was facing him. She dropped her bag and he grabbed her other elbow, too, and pulled her body against him as he crushed her lips with his mouth.

_Oh my Gods this is what I need. Lee with his mouth on me and his hands crushing me and his body against me and in me and around me._ Her body was betraying her, and she pulled away from him, only to have him tighten his grip on her arms and open his mouth against hers. Despite the strength of his grip and the force of his mouth, his tongue was gentle as it teased her lips until they opened. She groaned a little as he invaded her mouth, kept pulling away from him just to feel his fingers crushing her skin. He took a step to widen his stance, and it changed their balance enough for her to come to her senses. She pulled her face away from the kiss and pushed against his chest. He released her and she stumbled backwards, breathing heavily.

“I should punch you for that, Apollo.” She glared at him. She didn’t punch him, though. He still outranked her, and she’d rather spend the night in her bunk than in the brig.

“You just participated, _Starbuck,_ ” Lee sneered back at her.

“What the frak do you want, Lee? You’re the one who said we needed to stop doing that. Apparently I’m not pure enough for the frakking CAG.” She was shouting. _Get control of yourself, Starbuck._

“Yeah, well, Sam’s my friend, okay? I like him, and he doesn’t deserve to have his wife acting like a bitch in heat whenever he’s not around.” Lee sounded angry. Good. _I cannot deal with this again._

“I got that, Lee! Fine! You don’t want to frak another man’s wife that’s fine! So what the frak do you want?” She had her hand on her hip.  She liked being angry at Apollo. It was distracting.

But Lee didn’t seem to want to be angry at her. His shoulders dropped and he ran a hand through his hair. She tried to ignore how the sweat glistened on his arms, or how his lips were a little swollen from the kiss they just shared, but her eyes still followed his hand as it left his hair and dropped back at his side. His hands were strong, rough and callused. She blinked away the memories of how they had felt against her skin.

“Sam told me…” he took a deep breath, and looked at her eyes. “He told me that he thought that you needed…” he looked away, and his cheeks started to turn pink. “That you needed me, and that you’d been really unhappy since we stopped…talking.”

If Kara hadn’t been so overwhelmed and terrified of the subject matter, she would have found Lee’s euphemism for sex to be hilarious. As it was, though, she was too stymied to think about anything. She walked over to a weight bench and sat down. It was across the room from Apollo; she needed space.

“Look, Kara, I shouldn’t have asked you to divorce him. I’m sorry. He obviously loves you or he never would have come to find me.”

“I don’t want a divorce, Lee.” She wasn’t sure what they were talking about, so she reverted back to the last conversation they had, in the raptor on that algae planet, when he gave her the worst case of blue balls. “I made a pledge before the Gods, and I’m going to honor that.”

“I know.” Lee said simply, and then he was silent. She waited for him to say something else, to argue with her again, but he didn’t. She looked up at him. She didn’t know what her face looked like, because she’d lost the ability to control it right after Lee kissed her. However, whatever he saw made him take the few steps across the room and squat in front of her. _If you touch me, right now, I will frak you here on this floor and to hell with whoever walks through the hatch._ He didn’t touch her, though, instead putting his hand on the bench next to her hip. She tried to convince herself that she wasn’t disappointed.

“I was wrong asking for you to get a divorce. I’m sorry.” He looked at her face, his eyes darting back and forth between hers. “I love you, and you told me you loved me back, and when we’re together,” he drew a shaky breath. “When we’re together, all I want is for us to be together.” His face was so earnest, so open and honest. “I know how much your faith means to you, but I guess I just don’t understand how that fits in with us.”

“What ‘us,’ Lee? There is no us.” She tried to sound derisive, but she didn’t even believe herself.

“There has always been an ‘us,’ Kara,” Lee said softly. He continued to hold her gaze. “Even when you were with Zak.”

The memories came flooding back to her. How Zak had held her before his brother arrived, and whispered, “Anyone, just not my brother.” How she had laughed and kissed him and promised him that it would be too weird. How Lee had arrived and she had forgotten Zak, forgotten everything but the man in front of her, and how she had fought against it for hours until finally almost betraying Zak on the kitchen table while he was passed out drunk just a few feet away.

“What do you want, Lee?” She was defeated now. She had no idea what to do.

“I want you to be happy. Sam wants you to be happy. And we’re both willing to do whatever we need to do to make that happen.”

_What?!_ He couldn’t be talking about what she thought he was talking about. “Are you saying that Sam came to you and practically gave you permission to frak me?” All thoughts of Zak were banished by the ludicrous idea that Sam would actually go to Lee and tell him to have sex with her.

Lee took his hand from the bench and put it on her hip, leaning forward onto his knees. He pushed his forearm against her thigh and stretched his face closer to hers, until she could feel his breath on her lips. “I’m saying that Sam encouraged me to try and make you happier,” he whispered, and then he kissed her.  

This kiss was softer and more gentle. He hadn’t kissed her like this since the night they met, and the taste reminded her of home, and Zak, and a time when the only thing she was worried about was frakking up the first good relationship she’d ever had. She sat still while he brushed his lips against hers, not kissing him back but not pulling away, either. He leaned in closer and opened his mouth, and when she let him in he continued to kiss her gently, using his tongue to worship her instead of punish her. She loved it, which probably meant she needed to be punished, but for now, she allowed herself to gently respond, dropping her knees so that he could get closer. Both of his hands were on her hips now, holding her firmly but not aggressively. Their breath mingled as they kissed quietly, and time stretched out as she just enjoyed the taste of him, the smell. He was all she had left of Zak, of the last time she hadn’t been a frakup, before she had killed Zak by loving him too much.

It was the thought of Zak that made her break the kiss. “We can’t do this anymore, Lee. I can’t be what you want.” She didn’t look at him.

“You don’t need to be anything other than who you are, Kara,” Lee’s voice was almost a whisper. “Look at me.”

She did. He kept his face close enough to hers that they could kiss again if she just leaned forward, but she didn’t.

“You are perfect, Kara Thrace.”

She wanted to believe him. He said her name the way the priests spoke of the Gods, and she knew he believed himself, but she also knew he was wrong. _I have never been perfect, and I don’t deserve you, Lee Adama._ She looked away from him. 

“No, Lee, I’m frakked up and this is NOT happening. Please let me go.”

To his credit, he did, standing up and giving her room. She got to her feet and grabbed her bag, heading to the hatch.

“Can you meet me in the observation deck at 0200?” He called after her. She paused, but didn’t turn around. “Please.”

She didn’t answer him, just left. _There is no frakking way I’m going to the observation deck with Lee Adama._

She walked the corridors, trying to figure out what to do now. She was still pent up and frustrated, even more after kissing Lee and thinking about him and Zak and Sam. It all made her confused and angry. She loved Lee, but she loved Sam, and she still loved Zak. Zak was proof that she was toxic, just like her mother had always said. She couldn’t let that happen to either Lee or Sam. She had to keep them away just to keep them safe.

She heard voices and looked up, surprised to find herself in the rec room.

“Starbuck! Over here! These nuggets want to lose some money!” Helo motioned for her to come over to a table where there was a triad game going on. He had a bottle and a glass next to his elbow. _If I’m not going to fight, and I can’t frak, I might as well get good and drunk._ She looked at the two cadet pilots at the table. They looked really young, though even young looked old since the End of the Worlds. _I can take these suckers as a bonus._

“Only if you share that booze you’ve got, Helo.” She made her way over and pulled up a chair, opposite of Karl so she could watch his face. He passed her the bottle as one of the cadets handed her a glass, ( _Your manners won’t keep me from taking all your cubits)_ and his carefully cheerful expression told her that he was ready to pull a hustle like they had back on Picon in the Academy. _Oh yeah, this is what I need._ She poured herself a shot, threw it back, then poured herself a generous portion and handed the bottle back to Helo.

“Deal me in!” She raised her glass and Helo raised his in return. She took another drink, smaller this time, and picked up her cards as they were dealt to her. She forced herself to concentrate on them.  _There is no way I'm going to the observation deck._ "What's the bet?" She lost herself in the game as best she could.  _  
_


	3. Observation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara drunkenly stumbles into the Observation Deck, trying to pretend that she never would have gone there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning. I had a hard time getting this on the page for some reason, I'm not really sure why. However, here it is. Suggestions for improvement are welcome.

Kara laughed out loud as she bumped into the wall of the corridor again. Helo grabbed her arm and gently kept her on her feet.

“C’mon, Starbuck, let’s get you to bed,” he said soothingly, but with laughter in his voice. He wasn’t exactly sober, either.

Kara took another step and only swayed a little. “I’m fine, I’m fine!” she giggled as she stumbled again, but managed to keep herself upright.

“You are fine,” Karl said. “I’m still getting you back to the bunkroom in one piece. Apollo would kill me if I let anything happen to his best Viper pilot.”

Kara frowned a little at the mention of Lee, but quickly hid it. “What Apollo doesn’t know won’t kill him.” She hoped she sounded sarcastic. She looked around, and saw that she was near the observation deck. _How did I get here? Is this even on the way back to quarters?_ “Helo, listen. You get home to your family. I’m gonna watch the stars and sober up a little. I don’t have duty tomorrow, so it’s no big deal."

“You mean today, right? It’s almost 0200.” Helo smirked at her.

“Yeah, today, whatever. You should still go to bed with your wife. I’ll be fine.” She didn’t believe herself. _Am I really going to do this?_ “See you later, Karl.”

“Okay, Starbuck.” Helo shook his head. “But if I find you in the brig tomorrow, I won’t be surprised.”

Kara giggled, lifting the back of her hand to her mouth. “I’ll find a way to behave, I promise.” She laughed again.

Helo laughed too, then turned and walked away. They didn’t say goodbye to each other. They never had.

Kara took a deep breath as she watched him, biting her lip. Then she opened the hatch to the observation deck and walked in. _I bet he doesn’t even show up. It’s not like I told him I would be here. I don’t even know what I’m doing here._ She looked around the room, and seeing no-one, walked over to the window and looked out at the stars. She allowed her mind to wander as she thought about Lee, and Zak, and Helo, and her mother, and all the people she had lost in the attacks. There were no specific memories, just feelings and glimpses of images, of moments, and she leaned her face against the glass and closed her eyes, letting the solitude strip away Starbuck and leave her with just Kara. She only allowed herself to be vulnerable like this when she was alone.

She felt his presence when he walked into the room, even though he didn’t make a sound and neither did she. She felt him as he came closer, and she didn’t have the energy to try and put her walls back up, to put Starbuck back on. She just stayed there, with her forehead on the glass and her eyes closed, letting the silence stretch between them as he came up behind her and put his hands around her waist.

 “Kara,” he breathed into her ear. “I didn’t know if you’d come.” He leaned his face against her shoulder.

“I didn’t come here for you, Apollo. Helo was walking me back to the bunkroom but he needed to get back to Sharon, so I told him I would sober up in here for a while. I didn’t even know what time it was.”

“Okay,” Lee responded. She wondered if he had heard the lie and was ignoring it, or had taken it at face value. “Either way I’m glad you’re here.” He squeezed her a little and then they just stood there in silence for a while.

Kara was enjoying the feeling of his arms around her, trying not to think about Sam or Zak or anything but Lee, but she couldn’t help it. All of these men were tied together. Sam had first intrigued her back on Caprica because he reminded her so much of Zak: his optimism in the face of hardship, his acceptance of her at face value. She knew, even though they had never talked about it, that he knew that she had slept with other people both before and after she got him back from Caprica. He was the only one that she had told about what happened to her on New Caprica with Leoben, and about the daughter that she had never had. She had gone to Cottle after that to see if she could ever have children. Not that she wanted them, just that Kasey had made her feel things she had never thought she would feel. However, Cottle said it was unlikely that she would ever have children, with only one ovary and the extended radiation exposure. Sam was infertile. It was probably for the best.

She felt Lee take a deep breath against her back, and was brought back to the present.

“Zak didn’t care if I frakked anyone else, but he didn’t want me to frak you.” She blurted out. Lee stiffened against her back, his breathing halted.

“What?”

“Zak and I were in a secret relationship, and I had a reputation, and he didn’t care.” She had jumped over the precipice now. Nothing for it but to keep going. “He said as long as he was the only person I loved, it didn’t matter who I frakked. But the night you came to our apartment, he asked me not to frak you.” _There. Now he knows. Maybe now he’ll leave and I can get back to normal._

“I don’t know what to say about this.” Lee sounded truly dumbfounded. Kara smiled. That happened a lot.

“Sometimes I would come home and tell him about it, and then we’d have incredible sex. It was almost like he liked me making him jealous. It was amazing. I had never had anyone love me so unconditionally.” She turned around and put her arms around Lee’s neck. “And then I killed him.”

“You didn’t kill him, Kara. You made a mistake, but there was way more involved in Zak’s accident than the fact that he failed basic flight by one point.” Lee released Kara’s waist and moved away from her, putting one hand on his hip and running the other one through his hair. “Besides, that was years ago, in a different time and on a different world, and it has nothing to do with why we’re both here.” He looked at her, as if trying to figure out where this conversation as going. Kara put her hands behind her back and leaned against the glass.

“It has everything to do with why we’re here, Lee. I killed Zak, and I’ll kill Sam, and I’ll kill you. I’m toxic. You should be running away from me.” She didn’t look at him, just listened to her mother’s voice ringing in her ears and blinked away the tears that were starting to form. They just stood there in silence for a while.

“You know what? I don’t care,” he said, crossing back over to her and taking her face into his hands. “I don’t care, because you’re Kara, and I’m Lee, and we’re both still here, and I don’t care what happens next. We could die any moment, Kara. We’ve been on the run from the Cylons for what, three years now? Sam lived on Caprica after the fall for at least two years before you finally convinced Roslin to let you rescue him. We keep surviving and I don’t know why and _I don’t care._ ” He looked back and forth between her eyes, holding her face still and forcing her to look at him. “Aren’t you the one that told me that our fate is set, and nothing we do is going to change that? Well, if my fate is to die out here then I’d rather spend my life loving you however I can, instead of worrying or thinking about what might have been.”

She just stared at him. _How can he say those things? Didn’t he hear anything that I said?_ She felt like they were looking at each other for hours, but it was probably only seconds. _Frak it, he’s right._ She leaned forward slightly and kissed him. When their lips met she was surprised that the entire room didn’t light up. Their kiss was hard and desperate. Her hands went to his hips and pulled him to her, as his threaded through her hair and held her tightly, keeping her from pulling away. Their tongues warred between them as they kissed almost frantically, releasing the tension that had built up from their separation and their conversation. She felt her face get raw beneath his stubble and his teeth, and bared her teeth as she kissed him, nipping at his lip as he trailed kisses down her neck. He moved his hands to her shoulders to get them out of the way, and the sensation of his mouth on her neck shot straight to her clit. She ground her hips against him gently and knew from the feel of his growing erection that he was feeling the same way.

“Lee…” she breathed. She slid her hands up his chest as his slid down to her ass. She moaned when he squeezed a little, and returned the favor by squeezing his pecs and flicking her thumbs across his nipples. He grunted, and moved back to kiss her while pulling her tanks out of her BDU pants. She moved a hand to his neck as his hands found her skin and moved up to hold her ribcage under her bra. She wanted to feel him everywhere, but she also wanted this to last. When he nudged her breasts, she gasped, but kept kissing him, flicking her tongue against his lower lip. He pulled away and just looked at her as his thumbs eased under her bra, rubbing back and forth along the base of her breasts. Their gaze included their entire history, all the things they had said and done with each other, and all the things they had never said and never done.

She raised her arms above her head. Wordlessly, he pulled off her tanks and bra in one motion. Then he reached down and pulled his own shirt over his head.

Then they were kissing again, trying to devour each other and the moment. One of his hands went to her waist, the other to her breast. He squeezed it and pinched the nipple, causing her to grind against his erection, and she raked her nails up and down his back, causing him to grind against her in return. She pulled at his belt as his mouth trailed down her neck and her chest to claim the other nipple in his mouth.

He suckled at her breast while using his hand to mimic his mouth on the other. When he flicked his tongue against her nipple, the other nipple felt his finger do the same. When he bit at the side, he pinched the other breast. It was driving her mad. She shoved her hands under his pants to grab his ass and push it against her. He pushed her against the glass and moved his other hand from her back to her hip, then slid his fingers under her pants as well. She bit his shoulder.

“Kara!” he cried, but it was more of a moan than a recrimination. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her away from the window, pushing on her hips as he lowered both of them to their knees. She removed her hands from his ass to undo her belt on the way down, then reached across to rub his cock through his pants. “Gods, Kara,” he whispered, and he kissed her, kneading both her breasts in his hands, and pulled at her so they could both lie down. He lay next to her, one leg between hers, holding himself up by one elbow as his other hand slid down her belly to her fly and unbuttoned it effortlessly. He slid his hand under her panties and cupped her, taking a sharp intake of breath. “You’re so wet!” he cried softly. She bucked her hips up against his hand, trying to get him to do more, but he just squeezed it gently and bit her breast, then rubbed his fingers up and down her crease, spreading her wetness all over his hand.

He was driving her crazy. She dug her nails into his ass with one hand and leaned up on her side so she could reach his dick with the other. She unbuttoned his fly with the same finesse that he had with hers—there were benefits to wearing the uniform—and slid her hand under his boxers to grip him. He gasped when she rubbed her thumb against the tip, and then pushed one finger between her lips, gently pressing it against her clit, all the while continuing to kiss her breast.

“Lee, please!” She pulled at his cock, trying to convince him to reciprocate by fingering her. He just rubbed that finger up and down, driving her mad, but he lifted his face to kiss her. She pulled her hand from his ass and gripped the back of his head, pulling it down to hers as she pumped his cock up and down. He finally slid a finger inside of her and bent his head to kiss the hollow where her neck met her shoulder, and she arched her back and tried to push herself farther onto his hand. Her breathing became ragged, and he added another finger, using his thumb to rub across her clit in small circles. She felt the tension build inside of her and tried to frak his hand. She pulled on his cock less frequently and he lifted his head to watch her as her breath came in small gasps. Then she couldn’t hold on anymore, and his fingers pushed inside of her and stilled as she started to convulse and break apart. “Lee, oh my gods, Lee!” she cried as she shattered into pieces.

B

S

G

_Gods, she’s beautiful when she comes._ Lee held his hand against Kara’s pussy, only making small, light motions as she came down from her orgasm. Her hand had left his cock but he didn’t care, he was just enjoying looking at her. Whatever happened in the past or the future, he knew they would always come back to this. He’d never had her to himself, he realized. She had only ever come to him when she was attached to another man. She gradually opened her eyes and looked at him.

“Lee, I…”

He kissed her to keep her from talking. Anything she was going to say would ruin the moment, and he didn’t want to think about anything but the two of them, right now. He pulled his hand from her pants and sucked on his index finger. When she gasped, he offered her his other finger and she sucked on it, maintaining eye contact. Then he kissed her again, tasting her in both of their mouths. When he went to remove her pants, she lifted her hips to help him. When her hands went to his hips, he used his hand to help remove his own pants. Both of them naked now, he leaned into her hip, running his hand up and down her body, relishing in the feeling of her skin beneath his hand.

She reached up a hand and gripped the back of his neck, and he groaned as he leaned down and crushed her mouth with his own, shoving his tongue into her mouth as if he could possess her just that way. Her other hand reached over and grabbed his hip. He wished she was touching his cock, and bucked against her side. She opened her legs in response, so he lifted himself and settled between her legs.

“Do you want this?” he asked her, searching her face. She looked away.

“Do we have to talk about it?” she said. She sounded upset, but her hips still ground against his. He could feel her heat against his cock, and was tempted to just take her, but he needed to know.

“Yes,” he said between clenched teeth. “Tell me.” He gripped her chin and forced her face towards his. They made eye contact for a long moment, not moving, barely breathing. He finally ground against her one more time, and she sucked in a breath.

“Yes!” she whimpered. “Yes, I want this.”

The words lit his heart up with triumph, and he lowered his head to kiss her fiercely. The hand that was holding her chin instead reached down to grip himself and he found her entrance and shoved himself into her, causing her to gasp against his mouth. It turned him on to hear her so undone, so he pulled back and then shoved himself into her again, just to hear her grunt. His hand was still between them, and he placed his palm on her pubic bone and rubbed against her clit as he set a slow rhythm of thrusting into her.

Her hands reached up to her shoulders, and she started raking her nails down his back. It wasn’t something he enjoyed with any other lover besides Kara. With Kara, the pain felt like part of the bargain, and sex with her wouldn’t have felt right without it. When she grabbed his ass with one hand and his shoulder with the other he took it as a cue to thrust into her deeply. He pulled his head up and looked at her.

“Kara.” It was a command. Her eyes snapped open and met his, and he increased the pace of both his hips and his fingers. Her hands gripped him tighter and he was sure he would have bruises. He could feel her tightening around his cock and he leaned down and kissed her, hard. When he pulled his lips away he whispered, “come.”

Her hands clenched and unclenched his flesh, and he felt her pulsating around him. He put both hands next to her head and thrust into her hard and fast, feeling her raise her hips to meet him. His name keened from her lips as he pushed into her, again and again. A few moments later, he froze and shuddered, pushing into her as hard as he could.

“Kara!” he croaked. Then he pumped himself into her, arching his back and grunting with his release. She raked her fingernails down his back in response, and they stayed there like that, frozen in time, until he collapsed on top of her and wrapped his arms around her. She did the same.

Moments later, he slid out of her and rolled to his side, but didn’t take his arms away. As he pulled her head onto his chest, he whispered, “I love you,” into her hair as he kissed her head. She took a deep breath and sighed.

“I love you, too.”


End file.
